I'm not going to lie. This SAHM thing is tougher than one thinks. However, I wouldn't change it for the world!
It has been over 2 months since I left my job to become a stay at home mom. We decided this was the best decision for us for many reasons. With hours and pay being cut at work, we felt that my becoming a SAHM was the best decision for us. We would be able to save money on gas and child care. Not to mention the fact that I get to spend time with the kids.
I love my kids more than anything but some days I just need more than 5 minutes of me time. I feel guilty asking anyone to watch them for any amount of time. I feel guilty the entire time I am gone. I feel bad for asking my mom to watch them. I feel bad for asking hubby to look after them after he's spent many long hours at work.
Why do I feel so guilty?
For instance, Monday before last DH and I went shopping for a few items. We had an hour drive to the stores and an hour back so that took two hours of the time. The other three hours were spent in various stores that we don't normally get the chance to shop at. I cannot tell you how many times I looked at the time, thinking "Mom is probably ready for us to get them." Even though I know she enjoys spending time with them since she no longer watches them during the week for me.
I just cannot help but feel guilty for going out without them. I know that I need to get over this. I will lose myself as a person if I am JUST the kids' mother and the hubby's wife. I just need some ME time without the guilt.
Maybe I'll get over it one of these days...
And then there's the whole "Not really contributing to the income (other than my small side jobs that barely bring in money)..." But that's another post for another time.
When you find the secret to getting rid of the Mommy Guilt please let me know! We do tend to make it seem like mommies have to be all things to all people all the time - and be like June Cleaver doing it. Unrealistic for others and ourselves to expect but we get sucked in every time. Keep your chin up - that "me" time is good for everyone. They will all learn they can be OK without you and you can learn they can be OK without you too. :) My parents worked a lot when I was a kid but I had great relationships with my grandparents (and awesome memories of each one to look back on as they pass away) because of that time I had without my parents there.
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